I know I’m not updating again, and I apologize. We’ve been getting ready for our new arrival (which will be on the 10th, if not before) and that has been taking up just about all of my brain space. When it isn’t, I have just enough smarts to play video games and relax (28 pally, woot!)

I had this whole plan where I was going to write a bunch of stories at once and publish a new one every few days. You can see how that went. Great plan, abysmal execution.

I will try to have something new at least once a week, but I promise nothing until a few weeks after my wife produces the new naked screamer.

Apparently, It’s our net didn’t like the free advertising, so in place of their logo and link, I present to you a cat eating a banana.

ZOMG 1TS SN0WING!!!111LOLZ

Courtesy of the AP via the Boston Globe:

Senate wants light shed on pet projects

January 17, 2007

The Senate voted yesterday to shine more light on thousands of expensive pet projects buried in legislation every year after the Democratic majority bowed to a push by Republicans to make new disclosure rules even tougher. The vote was 98 to 0 to require senators to reveal the projects they insert in legislation. (AP)

Well, I guess we now know how all that extra time Congress is going to be working will be spent. It is kinda disturbing that they will now have to actively reveal it, as that kinda suggests that our Senate does not thoroughly read the legislation that they vote on.  Also, will these revelations be made available to us?

When I get up for work in the morning, I head straight to the shower, then brush, then make coffee. While that’s brewing, I get my first cigarette, then maybe check my auctions on WoW, prepare my thermos for work, spend a few minutes with the wife and kid, then kisses and byes and I step into the car and drive off to work.

What you don’t see in there is that during that whole time from waking to getting in the car, there is one line of a random song constantly playing in my head. It plays over and over, that one line. It’s torturous, and I can’t stop it until the radio goes on in the car. I’ve been thinking about why this happens, and I’ve figured out that it’s because I’m fucking insane.

One day, the radio trick won’t work, and they’ll find me on the side of the road, hugging my knees, rocking back and forth, and singing, “Fruit salad! Yummy yummy! Fruit salad! Yummy yummy! Fruit salad! Yummy yummy! Fruit salad! Yummy yummy! Fruit salad! Yummy yummy! Fruit salad! Yummy yummy!” They will then place me in a padded, soundproof room where Meg and Erin can watch me banging my head against the wall, singing that line from that Prince song, or that Beatles song, or that Matchbox 20 song.

So, if one day, the posts stop for two weeks or more, please come visit me at the asylum and say Hi. Bring a revolver.

So, at the end of the move Forrest Gump, the lovable cretin marries Jen-nay who promptly dies from AIDS (go heroin!). I can’t help but follow the logical conclusion that Forrest has also contracted AIDS (as they had a child together), and be thankful that they ended the movie where they did.

Money and frustration led DuPont to make an unprecedented decision earlier this month: not to dump more poison in our river. It’s not because of any environmental epiphany or doubts about safety that the E.I. DuPont de Nemours company has decided not to treat VX hydrolysate at it’s Chambers Works plant in Deepwater, NJ. It’s because the NJ government fought a heroic battle to block it. The state regulators made it so difficult for DuPont to continue that the ailing company just gave it up. Nevermind the fact the the hydrolysate is an extremely dangerous and corrosive substance that the Chemical Depot in Newport, Indiana has already had a contained spill. Also, nevermind that the Delaware Audubon Society had joined in a suit against the treatment plan.

I guess all’s well that ends well, but I can’t help but be a little disappointed that the Delaware government didn’t even make a negligible protest against this from day one (3 years ago). I guess when a state already has a ridiculously high cancer rate among its citizens, dumping treated nerve agent into the water is just a drop in the bucket.

Reading a post on nickihem’s parenting-related blog, Communiqués from Cowtown, reminded me of one of the best ways that my daughter has proven that I don’t need to file a paternity suit. Meg was bouncing the bug on her knee, when my daughter ripped a good one on Meg’s leg. Here’s how the ensuing conversation went:

Me: What the hell was that?!

Meg: Erin farted on me!

Erin: hahahahahahahaha! *fart*

Meg: She did it again!

Me and Erin: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAH!

Yes, the girl is mine.

Wow, more people on polar opposites are working together.

Apparently, the details will be available for Washington on Wednesday, but it seems Evangelical leaders and environmental scientists have been able to put aside origin issues to work together in combatting global warming. This article is chock full of great quotes. Here’s my favorite:

“Whether God created the Earth in a millisecond or whether it evolved over billions of years, the issue we agree on is that it needs to be cared for today,” said Rich Cizik, vice president of government relations for the National Association of Evangelicals, which represents 45,000 churches.

This is just incredible! Evangelical Christians able to see past the creation/evolution argument and scientists able to work through their disdain of faith, making a concerted effort to take stewardship of the planet seriously. Everyone involved in this deserves all the accolades they can get.

As I was leaving the house this morning, my 3 year old daughter’s parting words to me were, “Have a good day, Daddy! Watch out for ghosts and monsters!” I got a good laugh at that, but on the foggy, twisting road to the office, I hit an orc. Then a ghost tried to sell me heroin.

Kids are remarkably perceptive.