Merit-bound Alley

At work, over instant messaging with an admin that I’ve never talked to before regarding one of our huge multinational clients. Edited to remove individual and corporate names.

Admin: I have a hardware ticket out to SUN to replace a disk on server: <company>blog. Will be rebooting sometime between 2:30 and 3:30.
Joseph J Madje… okay, cool
Joseph J Madje… so… <company> has a blog now?
Admin: yep
Joseph J Madje… wow
Joseph J Madje… I wonder if they’ll link to me

I want to share my current favorite TV commercial.

The animals are very well-done, but the expression on the lady passenger’s face is absolutely priceless!

For those that love A Nightmare Before Christmas, or Invader Zim, or anything that is a little gross, but mega-cute, this exhibit in Basel, Switzerlad that shows the skeletons of cartoon characters.

We need it and Norway has heeded our call!

Nils Olav, honorary colonel-in-chief of the King’s Guard, has been knighted. When asked about his reaction to this great honor, Sir Nils responded, “RAAAAAAAAAAAK”.

He’s a penguin.

Awesome!

Anyone who uses the internet is familiar with the Rick Roll. Well, I’m delighted to bring to the Delaware blog readers the next evolution in internet meme brilliance: The Barack Roll!

Major h/t goes to htmatkin, the creator of this hilarious video!

So, Fark gives us a link that I thought would be a good, funny article called The Six Steps to Dealing With Liberal Friends and Family. Unfortunately, the guy was being serious, and not throwing jabs or spoofing. Not even one pun, the fucker! So, here’s my take: The Six Steps to Dealing with Conservative or Liberal Friends and Family, ‘cuz They’re All Assholes

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This is… sublime!

My most thankful h/t ever: Bad Astronomy

Photo by M. T. Harmon

I’ll buy a beer at the next Drinking Liberally to the person who writes the best photo caption.

The following exchange between my 4-year-old and I just transpired:

Kid: Do you want a bubblegum lollipop?

Me: No, thank you.

Kid: Really? A bubblegum lollipop?

Me: Yeah, I don’t want one.

Kid: Yoy have to say, “No, thank you”!

Me: I did say that!

Kid: No, you said “Yes, please” like a little baby!

Man, she’s rough!

If you haven’t read Donviti’s post about Drinking Liberally, you should. In it, there is a romanticized story of how I offered to make peace with the man/myth. Here’s what really happened.

Donviti entered Timothy’s shyly and reprehensively, his eyes darting around to see if I was there to throw down. I hadn’t noticed him, but when we were introduced, we shook hands and I told him I had something for him in my car, a peace offering of sorts. At that point, he knew he was not in trouble, and wept openly.

He polished off his beer, and dialed his wife on his cell, even though she was only two feet away. He furtively asked his lovely wife to stay on the phone as we went to the parking lot “just in case”. As we walked out, Viti kept throwing frightened looks over his shoulder while keeping a death grip on his phone and visibly trembling. I thought to offer comfort, but being me, I was enjoying the show.

We reached my car, and I unlocked it, the sound of the lock clicking made Donviti cry out in alarm and pee a little. Inside my trunk was a double-barrel shotgun and a closed plastic bag. When he saw the gun, he fell to his knees, begging for mercy. At this point, I figured the charade had gone on long enough, and I offered what comfort I could, and pulled out the plastic bag. Donviti tentatively took the bag from me and looked in to find a 6 of Victory Hop Devil, a beer I knew he was a fan of.

Don began again to weep, this time in joy, as he pulled me to him in a gratitude-filled man-hug. After 2 seconds (that’s my limit), I pushed him away, then grabbed a handkerchief to wipe Viti’s snot of my shoulder. I gave him a smile, my apology, and we went back inside to the revelry.

As to the scandal of Don’s handshake, I thought he had a fine one. It’s common courtesy when shaking with a lady apply the same amount of grip as she does to you. When we shook hands, Don’s geip was fine, and more masculine than his behavior would predict.

So, there’s the story, folks. The true an accurate history of Thursday night’s events!